Category Archives: family

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ben and amber — a working unit for a decade.

as of today. a couple for ten years. a house, a printing press, various animals, two children, and a business (papers of incorporation came yesterday!) are just SOME of the things we have done together.

he got me a dancing dror video.

we had a REALLY good date night. we had dinner at a full plate in northern liberties. we went and saw “final destination 5″ in 3D. we went to a stag party at the bike stop.

i don’t need anybody to tell me how lucky i am, although they often do. girl friends, guy friends… MANY friends have told me what a good catch i got. i know it!

béla!

the famous (and much anticipated, i find) gotcha day picture! god knows i was looking forward to sharing it, but i think i got flickr and facebook taken care of that day, and then forgot about here! heck!

anyway, august 6th is that special day upon which we reflect on driving to the airport and saying to each other with panic “WHY DOESN’T THIS FEEL ALL THAT FUN?!” and then having to pee nine thousand times while waiting for the flight to arrive (and recording each of them on facebook) and then seeing the biggest, hunkiest, baby with the silliest black hair ever and then seeing him look at us like “THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL THAT I AM GOING ANYWHERE WITH YOU.”

since i forgot to put it up for three freaking weeks, let’s make up for it with a recent montage of all the wonderfulness which is this puzzle of a boy — who, for all his stubborness and outright punkiness came up to me today and put his arms around me and said, “i will always be your 창수.”


he knows how to make an entrance.


he’s not afraid of licensed characters.


he’s a good drummer.


he can write his name.


he can climb.

and he makes our family complete, which is why we celebrate the first day we saw him and held him and smelled him and got smacked by him. and next year, we’ll try to post about it on time!

unstoppable!

i just noticed that i never actually POSTED about this. i had just put it in the sidebar. it was awesome fun, so i should post it — particularly since i’ve become even MORE unstoppable since this interview! (to which i have never actually listened.)

the unstoppable amber dorko stopper on artblog radio — by roberta fallon and libby rosof (with peter crimmins)

greetings from washington DC: anne morrow lindbergh’s mittens

we got an unexpected, most-expenses-paid trip to DC for three days this week. an excellent thing.

ben had a meeting in richmond VA today so it was just the kids and me. we went to the air and space museum, where the most interesting thing i saw was anne morrow lindbergh’s mittens. i got some photos, because this seems like the kind of thing someone would love to re-create, although i already see i’m not the first person to ever blog them.

if they’d seemed more like they’d been made from a published pattern, i wouldn’t have been as interested, but they look like a nice one-off, and i liked them.

béla loved the air and space museum and i think we will be moving into his “space” phase concurrent with his “robots” and “guitars” and “hr pufnstuf” phases. (“saturn” came up a LOT today.) as for claude, i’d say that seeing dorothy’s ruby slippers at the museum of american history — something we literally jumped off a double-decker bus to do, when we heard the audio announce that they were in there — was probably her personal high point.

claudia’s first completed needlework project

i set her up this afternoon with some plastic canvas and a plastic needle and some yarn and floss. and to say “she went to town” is an understatement.

sometimes when claudia is drawing, she gets TALKING — a serious stream-of-consciousness that seems to be coming from some OTHER consciousness, as i often hear her use words and phrases i had no idea she ever knew. she has also done this while “knitting” on her own (tangling yarn and cable needles), and again, today, while working on this “NEEDLEWORK”, which is what she called it, as she moved busily from seat to seat in the house, saying “I’VE GOT TO FINISH MY NEEDLEWORK,” and “WHERE IS MY NEEDLEWORK?” she had a really good time. but this type of structured activity really seems to open up something in her mind. i know the feeling!

at one point, ben and i were at our laptops at the kitchen table, with claudia to one side of us, stitching, and béla at the other side, paging through highlights magazine. it was lovely.

he was punk before you were punk, punk

mikey wild has been a part of my life since i was a young teen. if being an eighties south street kid has any kind of real youth culture cred — to be held up against that of other cities — it is, in large part, because we have mikey wild and they don’t.

in 2007, i included him in my “knitted philadelphians” series. a gracious muse who, when i told him i had something i wanted to give him, guessed excitedly, “vincent price?!” — but was even happier to see that it was himself.

weren’t we all amazed when he started drawing and painting, after (and during!) such a legendary performance career? — i became a collector: christopher lee battling a thanksgiving turkey, a large canvas of “the tingler”…

and, this portrait of “the baby and dracula”. i think we recognize that baby.

and here’s mikey on the day he did that drawing for us.

it is one of my favorite mikey stories; although we had known each other a long time, the way you can “know” people in philly, i was never entirely confident he knew my name. on that day, it was clear from his behavior, which was a little tentative, that he KNEW the last time he had seen me, i had not had a black infant with me. “is that your baby?” he asked, and when ben and i replied in the affirmative, he said, “she’s really cool.”

we discussed pricing for a commission of a baby portrait, and he started drawing. when he handed me the portrait, everything had been colored in except claudia’s skin. mikey had such a sheepish look on his face, as if to say “i’m not ENTIRELY sure of the protocol here and i’m going to err on the side of caution.” (as if anyone can imagine THAT coming from mikey wild. but that’s what i read in his face.)

i told him he needed to finish coloring it in, but i didn’t give him any hints about how. he took it back, and we had the finished product shortly after.

another favorite mikey story of mine took place the morning he drew christopher lee battling a turkey. it was the morning before thanksgiving and turkeys were on his mind. i was in gleaners, waiting for sonny d’angelo to open his shop so i could go pick up our bird. everyone in the café was doing some thanksgiving shopping, and a guy came in and said he had to go pick up a block of cheese.

mikey looked up and said, “like a block of led zeppelin.”

the guy who was shopping for cheese laughed and said, “yeah — like a rock block.”

“a rock block of cheese,” mikey said.

it’s difficult to put a final word on my own feelings about mikey. i think about that old roger corman movie, bucket of blood, where dick miller plays walter paisley, an exciteable — and socially unsophisticated — busboy in a beatnik café. when walter’s desire to be part of the culture and excitement around him — and to contribute to it — becomes unexpectedly realized, he is elevated in status — briefly — by the crowd he has admired.

things don’t end well for walter, whose contribution to the the counterculture community is more radical than any of his peers initially suspect. but mikey’s contribution — of himself, and his vision — to the punk rock, art, and horror film communities, is the story of his success, rather than of his demise. he was supported by those communities, and by a family that encouraged him to embrace what he loved.

not everyone gets that encouragement, and even people who do get it can be afraid to really immerse themselves in their loves like mikey did. the world gives us the message that there’s something wrong with people who do that — they are “obsessed” or “geeking out” or “have too much time on their hands” (which is often exactly what people who are really in flow — really connecting to what matters to them — do not have.) on whatever standardized tests are out there, mikey certainly could have been perceived to have a “deficit”, but in day-to-day living, he surely did not. those who cannot see how deserving of admiration mikey was should weep for no one but themselves — but the fact is, everyone i’ve ever known, who knew mikey, got him. and i don’t think he was even trying to make that happen. and that’s really unusual, and great.

mikey died on the morning of may 25th, 2011. he missed the hundredth anniversary of his beloved vincent price’s birthday by about 48 hours.

i spoke briefly about the upcoming exhibit at pageant, on WHYY’s newsworks radio, on the day of mikey’s death. the great kenn kweder was interviewed to great effect.

a celebration of the work of mikey wild was held at pageant:soloveev gallery at 607 bainbridge street, on june 18, 2011. it was beautiful!

open to some unknowns, juneteenth olean

this weekend, my first solo exhibition opens, as part of the juneteenth celebration/international freedom festival in olean, new york. the exhibit, which is titled open to some unknowns, deals specifically with knitted work that relates to our childrens’ birth cultures and ethnic heritage. i was honored to work with kickass organizer after my own heart, and transracial adoptee, sara heslin woods, on this project.

my connection with sara came from posting on an internet message board. i felt i was coming up short on connections in the black community with whom i could talk about claudia’s needs. sara responded, “i’ll talk to you,” and believe it, she did. she’s been a wonderful sounding board and mentor and i’m glad that my work as part of her (huge) project in olean makes her happy and does her proud.

the nine minute video we made for the exhibit makes me particularly proud. the things you can do with an iphone! and i am grateful to the musicianship of david lackner and the band thank you, rosekind for allowing me to use their music, so i did not have to have a plink-a-plink cutesey “look at the sensitive mothering” bullshit soundtrack.

an interview about this exhibit will be posted on the esteemed artblog radio within the next few weeks, and i will update accordingly.

i am grateful to my beautiful family.

flash of the spirit

i have noticed in life that there is almost never a way to photograph a moment; by which i mean the moments that a friend of mine once called “golden moments”, and i doubt i need to explain what they are (although they are often so much more modest in nature than people might think).

by some amazing luck this afternoon, i caught one.

the elements that came together to make this moment began with my son announcing: “after i finish my popcorn, and after you finish your putier (computer), can i snuggle with you? i would like to do that. and then we turn the tv on.”

we proceeded to watch — three times, back to back — his favorite episode of the monkees, in which richard kiel plays a frankenstein-monsterlike-android that learns to sing and play the guitar.

in the midst of this, claudia joined us, situating herself between us and the television and attempting to read us “a story about african amirahs” (her latest mash-up of her birth name, amirah, and the phrase “african-american”). this “story” was flash of the spirit: african and afro-american art and philosophy, by robert farris thompson.

the unusual angle is a result of béla sitting on my head while i took the picture with my phone.

this year’s girl

three years ago today, we saw and held our baby for the first time! our fat, tea-colored, froglike, flatulent baby.

since this anniversary is different than a birthday, we have a special way of commemorating it with a special kind of photograph. here is this year’s.

claudia got a series of cute postcards for her bedroom wall as a gift… they were from an etsy seller, who had found the incomplete set of these large alphabet cards — probably used to hang in classrooms in the late sixties, early seventies — and i guess used an oversized scanner to then reproduce them. they are fantastic. i am using the “soul sister” as my facebook profile photo now.

…and, she and béla each got new korean handdrums. (as there has been, quite by accident, but unbroken yet, a history of each of the kids getting percussion instruments as gotcha gifts.)

claudia is a big three year-old girl now and she’s driving us insane. ever hear the term “threenager”? we have, now. and we are on board with it.

she’s also drawing wonderful faces.

she’s a spectacular girl. yesterday morning as she got ready for breakfast, we heard her singing, “MY NAME IS CLAUDIA AMIRAH, AND I’M A DANCER!”